Depression // A Poem

Depression – Spoken Word Poem

Depression, it’s a certain kind of pain

Not like the pain of stubbed toes

Or the pain of paintball or daily blows

Life’s light fades as you’re dragged below

And all you feel is an underlying low

Actually, that’s an understatement

An overwhelming, soul-crushing low

Ploughing through life absorbed by your woes

A while ago, you and happy were close, then the tectonic plates of your life shifted

Life morphs into days in bed dreading the thought of having to face… anything

Missed calls, unanswered texts and empty promises

Mind you, these actions reflect your feelings

Emptiness, loneliness, tuned out of life with your station just out of reach

You hear whispers of “you are not alone”

Although you try to listen, you feel nothing, you’re hollow

Inside lies a gaping hole that can’t be filled by any proverb

Let alone, being told you’re not the only one

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been depressed

I greeted it fleetingly but we soon grew familiar

I was oblivious to the earthquake that preluded the devastating tsunami. I collapsed, becoming a prisoner in my own cage

I was Alice falling down the rabbit hole. I kept plummeting with sight of the bottom not growing near

Reminders of who I was became mismatched puzzle pieces that couldn’t quite fit together

I moved through life in a drunken haze, bar the alcohol

I looked at life, but I wasn’t seeing it. I heard life, but I wasn’t listening. I existed, but I wasn’t living.

These days, this feeling I know comes and goes

But I am not broken

I am not broken

Depression, that’s the thing, life’s fine and then it’s just not

Your stomach’s in a knot, wondering how this all came to be

Because this is not how it’s meant to be

You know that logically, but life’s look has become unrecognisable without the taint of thick fog

Depression constricts your perception until your whole view of life is condensed to the keyhole of your cage

It took me a while to recognise this. Maybe that awareness is what saved me

Escaping from the storm’s clutches will never be easy, but whoever said anything worth fighting for is easy?

Other feelings don’t compare to this burden

“When will this pain go away,” You say

You’re past the point of sadness, “Is this it” you say

but something inside has driven you to today

Communicate and converse

It’s scary, but help is not for the weak, it is a brave step

Our minds lie sometimes, a fact which we may be blind to

So, let others lend you a much-needed pair of glasses

Doubt and fear are inevitable, but sometimes we lose control

And I don’t know if this will help, but you are not alone

The talk you hear may be unclear when you’re encased in darkness

But don’t disregard it, it’s there for a reason

And you’re here for a reason too

Please seek help if you need // International Hotlines

- Miller