Intent versus impact; the act of helping someone or asking questions with the best of intentions, but the impact on said person is somewhat negative. I'm pretty sure 99% of us have unintentionally upset someone before, I know I have. All actions have an intention of some sort, they also have an impact. If the intention is consciously negative then the impact will most likely follow suit. Lots of actions have perfectly good intentions, but sometimes their impact isn't quite what we expected. Generally, when we help others, it's because we care. Or when we ask questions, it's because we're curious. Since we don't experience life through the eyes of others, we can't always understand the impact of our actions.
People typically fall into three camps when approaching intent and impact; entirely emphasising intent, entirely emphasising impact or emphasising both equally. I'd like to think I fall into the 'emphasising both equally' camp.
Obviously, if you do something wrong you need to take ownership of your actions, apologise and see what you can do to help. Just because you have good intentions, doesn't always mean actions will positively impact others. Intentions don't always equal impact. On the contrary, I've found that someone irritates me inadvertently, I find it easier to forgive and forget. This doesn't mean I wasn't affected, it means that I'm able to work around the problem a little bit easier. I think it's important to weigh up intention with impact, but I can understand arguments for both sides.
Witnessing internet debacles are almost daily occurrences for me. Someone will express their opinion and then boom, curses and caps-lock erupt in subtweets. The intention of said people may have purely been to express their opinion. If someone vocalises their disagreement with us, we may take it personally. I know I've done this before, but I believe that we can't assume that the intent of someone is to hurt us. If you don't agree with someone, educate them, offer your opinion. Then when they respond, listen, consider and welcome their view. Of course, there are 'trolls' out there that spread fire just for the sake of it, but it's not always the case. Recently, it has been a challenge for me to overcome these feelings. When someone criticises or disagrees with me, they are not out to get me. They are simply expressing their opinion, as I am expressing mine. Realising this has helped me greatly. I enjoy exchanging opinions with others and realising the 'why' behind their viewpoint. Don't turn an expression of opinion into a personal attack, it helps no one.
Currently, I am in a wheelchair because of a neurological pain condition, which you can read more about here. I'm not going to deny that I am different to those around me right now. Sometimes it can make others uncomfortable or curious. Then come the questions. I've had so many questions about my wheelchair and illness since this ordeal began. Some questions have been perfectly fine, admittedly, a bit strange for me to get used to. But, others have been somewhat invasive or constructed poorly. Mostly, others have wanted to extend empathy and curiosity, not to victimise me. It has been a lengthy process for me to accept questions and understand the stance that others are coming from when inquiring. I try to understand that only I can see life through my set of glasses. These days, I like to see questions as an opportunity to educate.
People can forget the impact their words or actions can have on others. In the end, it comes down to understanding that your sentiments or actions may not be appreciated. If you upset someone, apologise, take responsibility and do what you can to make it right. Understanding the impact of your intent before you carry out an action could help your impact align more clearly with your intent. Now, I shall pass the question over to you. What is your stance on intent versus impact?
- Miller
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